


Kingdom of Sorrow

by Travler66



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game), The Awesome Adventures of Captain Spirit (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Child Neglect, Gen, Guilt, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Regret, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-29 21:54:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15082526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Travler66/pseuds/Travler66
Summary: Sometimes, deep down, Charles knew better than anyone that Chris deserved a better father than him.





	Kingdom of Sorrow

"No, listen- Chris!"

Chris ran out of the house and away from his father, not even closing the door. Charles was alone.

His head fell into his hands.

The haze of the alcohol was finally receding, allowing him to think clearly. 

What the fuck just happened? Why the fuck did he say all that? They were supposed to go out shopping and get the pine tree for Christmas together, not this!

He didn't mean to-

_"Yes. Yes, you did."_

Not for the first time, Charles Eriksen felt like the lowest piece of shit that ever walked the Earth. He knew that he should chase after Chris, tell him he never blamed him for what happened to Emily, that it was just the drink talking, that he was proud of Chris holding onto superheroes and hope while he held onto drinking and grief and despair, that he loved Chris more than any drink, more than life itself, but he knew it would be fruitless.

And after the whole... grabbing thing, - For the life of him he can't even fucking remember why he did that, but he did and Chris was so scared and hurt and he's never going to look at him the same way ever again - Charles didn't trust himself to be around Chris when he got angry. He promised himself it wouldn't happen a second time.

And yet, despite that promise, he just got angry at Chris over god-damn nothing. _Again_.

No thanks to him. Contender for Dad of the Year award for sure.

He knew he should get rid of all the whiskey and beer but life was just so _hard_ now, the loss of his job and the fact the police still didn't know the name and face of the fucking asshole who ran over his wife was still out there and not rotting behind bars, certainly wasn't helping. It felt like a anvil was weighing down on his mind and soul ever since Emily died. It got heavier and heavier every day and it wouldn't go away. He needed to cope with Emily's crushing sense, beer helped him do that. He needed to move on, find happiness, Audra helped him to that.

But neither beer or Audra helped him with how to deal with his own son.

He just didn't know what to do anymore. He didn't know what do or say when Chris was upset, Emily always handled that.

What the fuck was he thinking, telling Chris not to be a baby anymore, of accusing him of wanting to tell Ms Reynolds about the bruises he caused when by rights he should have told her but didn't because Chris loved him, a living breathing definition of a fuck-up that let Chris do all the chores around the house and blamed him for all his problems. Fucking hell, he just a kid! He was his son!

He wanted to tell Chris he was sorry for everything, he wanted Emily back, he wanted to play basket-ball with Chris again, he wanted things to go back to the way they used to be, he wanted his son to grow into a fine man that was a thousand times better than his worthless excuse of a father.

But how was the last bit supposed to happen if all he did was hurt his son again and again?

What would Emily think of him now?

_It would be better for him if he left. He deserves a better father than you._

The moment that thought surfaced in his head, he shut that down immdietely because _no_. Chris was one of the few good things he had left. The most beautiful little boy that he and Emily raised together, he couldn't lose him too.

_And what if you already have you stupid piece of shit?_

 

 

 

Much later, Charles didn't do much but sit on his bed smoking his cigs.

He faintly heard the front door close shut, soon after, he heard the door to his sons' room close too.

Charles rose from his bed and walked to open his door and tried to ignore the visible dent on it, one of his own making.

Just as he reached the handle, he hesitated.

Chris' teary face flashed before his eyes.

Charles hand limply fell, then he turned around and went to bed.

 


End file.
